Don't be the Problem Solver

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Don't be the Problem Solver

  • Hitch
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As far as I’ve managed in relationships, those are the things I’ve come across so far, that I believe work in long term, for those of you who want to be in a relationship. These principles will help you grow and the same goes for your partner as well. She will support you fully for who you are and what you do in order to prosper yourself. This will also help you sustain the relationship, without being a typical problem solver, who girls try to avoid.

She is using the dishes and the trash, as a metaphorical example, for she might believe that you don’t actually care about the relationship anymore

·         Watch her how she melts away. Create more and more attraction for her.

If she mentions the dishes, she is telling you that she is not sure if you care about her and how things are going. Take her to dinner, say “fuck the dishes” and do it, through action and genuine feelings for her. If you really care, show it in a manner that will require action from your side. Or if you don’t want to go and have dinner with her right there and then, imagine the weather might be shitty and stuff and you just don’t want to go through all of that, give her a passionate kiss, more passionate than you’ve done before and take her then and there, fuck her on the floor and amplify the emotion she wants to feel, because women view the world through emotions.

·         It is simple, yet it doesn’t burden the person with your view on things. Only solve problems for her if she actually asks you to do it.

Have you seen how girls make big deals out of small shit? Well the reason for that is – you guessed it – emotion! So amplify that, and make her feel secure and all in all – just make her feel. Don’t be the problem solver, just be a shoulder she could cry on. And if she asks for advice and how to deal with a certain situation, only then and there you help her out. Because all of us want out other half’s to feel adored, and that is the way to show it. It comes from experience, I’ve been the problem solver, didn’t work for me. Now you have the power to change that for yourself.  Show her that you are the guy she wanted to fuck all day long in the first place, show her that you are still that guy. Make her fall in love with you every day with this simple yet effective way of truly showing her, that you love her – through action, not some bullshit mental masturbation.

·         How to go about it

The beta males are making her problems his problems, he is trying to fix the surface layers and he is not amplifying the emotion. She doesn’t want you to make her problems your own, she doesn’t want you to solve them, she only wants you to listen and participate, and if she will fall in love all over again, she would like it very, very, very much if you just amplify it a little bit, for instance:

-          “Stephany said I look fat” Answer with – “Well sounds to me like Stephany is a fucking bitch”

-          “My coworkers are trying to flirt with me” – “And here I thought they were all sissies”

-          “I just feel sad” – “Come here baby” and give her a kiss, ask her why and just listen

-          “People think my nostrils aren’t properly aligned” – “Nobody’s perfect, especially people” I used that in one case potentially unaware of the impact it will have, then just because of this comment I got some of the best sex in my life.

And after this last example (cause in the end of the day, she was actually the one that kissed me) I figured out that girls are actually starving for emotions, that’s why they make a big deal out of small things, feed her with what she needs, not what you think she needs, girls are direct sometimes, they will just tell you or ask you for advice, so then and only then is the time, where you should give it to her. So, participate, even if it fucking annoys you. Don’t be selfish, if you love your partner, you owe her that much at least, and trust me, that’s all she needs.

·         Also don’t judge.

By trying to be the problem solver, you are actually on a subconscious level trying to change that person to fit your needs, which is selfish and you shouldn’t do it. Let her, through explaining it to you, to tell you, what actually happened. That’s how she feels out the situation and if you interfere, it is game over for her feeling out the situation and letting the stress out, as well as, game over for you. She might’ve had a bad situation at work with her boss, who might be a dumb ass, a relative might’ve passed away, people might be judging her of how she feels, or her nostrils might not be aligned and she wants to cry about it. It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t say that she needs help. Your job is to listen (not solve her problems and also never judge. Sometimes especially in the beginning of the relationship, she might come out really strong, which is not a bad thing. But there might come a time, where she trusts you enough to share a positive or a negative emotion that, might lead to tears or really strong emotion from her side. Yet again you only listen, if you FEEL that she needs a hug, just give it to her, after she is finished talking and feeling out the situation, letting all the stress out, you can take her afterwards and show her a world she hasn’t experienced yet, but never judge her.

·         Exceptions

Like every rule (in this case let us say, that it is not a rule, rather a biological perceptions males usually don’t have but girls respond strongly to), there are exceptions. Like I mentioned above, you never judge her for what she feels (don’t judge her emotions basically), but you can do that if only the emotions that she feels might end up in a disappointment for her and you, or might harm you both or just her. Then and only then you open your mouth and speak your mind.  Even if she just wants to be silent about it, and there is an awkward silence, you can ask her what’s up, but if she doesn’t want to talk just smile and do whatever you are doing together. If there is no necessity for talking, just shut your mouth and enjoy the moment.

        Like I mentioned in previous topics, guys tend to lose track of their progress. They fall victims to the comfort of the relationship. Therefore never lose your progress in a million years, even if it’s hard to think about it in the moment, never stagnate! Always find ways to prosper in life. Aim for that promotion and get it, she will love you for it. Also when she is not around, find time for yourself – Read a book, go to the gym and exercise (build up strength), meet new people, think for where you might take her to dinner next etc.


The easiest thing in the world you can do to a person, is judge him or her about how they feel in an exact moment, never do that, also never be the problem solver if the situation doesn’t require that out of you. People rarely want to be told what to do, and in most cases your desire to help them, comes out as judgment and ordering around.

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