The double standard
The double standard
What does she truly want? Is it just one thing, a couple or a ton? Well, in actuality girls don’t know what they want or to write it more precisely – they know, but they can’t verbally express it. It is a feeling for them, and feelings sometimes are hard to explain. Thank god a bunch of nerds who were bad with women developed the science for us 25 years ago, so we can understand things better in those times of comfort. I grew up believing that girls are smart, know what they want and how to achieve it, but as I stumbled upon game, I realized that wasn’t the fact. I always thought that girls will go for the “right guy”. My understanding for the “right guy” was that he was some kind of a hero, good hearted and will always be there when she needs him. I used to believe that mainstream Hollywood movies would do the work for me. But I was so wrong and disappointed when I learned the truth of how things actually are. In movies you see girls who go for the guy that is nice to them, puts them on a pedestal and basically pampers them, like they can’t take care of themselves. I tried to be that guy and always ended up confused and disappointed. I thought that she would want me to go and take her from work and that would be an appropriate way for me to show affection for her (which seemed creepy to the girl). I thought showering her with compliments (stuff I didn’t really mean and just assumed about her through my teeth) is the way to go, but I ended up being as fake as they come. I thought buying girls drinks with my allowance for the month is also a good way to show affection, but it didn’t work as well and I was always short on cash. I believed that if I ask my friends who were girls, they would give me a proper example of how to impress the girl I like and it turned out what they gave me was all of the above, of what I shouldn’t actually do, which I already knew didn’t work. I was confused… Are girls liars? Or they didn’t know themselves? Why did every advice I got from a girl, ends up creeping the hell out of the one I adore?
The answers to those questions will come in this topic, but before that I want to express another disappointment I had back in the day and couldn’t figure out until I found about game. In my mind, like I mentioned, I believed that girls should go for the good guy (back then I couldn’t distinguish between good and nice, but bear with me). And as I was looking at girls, particularly their love-companions, I was astonished. Most of them were absolutely deplorable, or so I thought. There was a term for those guys, they were calling them “Bad-boys”. They were treating girls like crap, but the girls were always qualifying themselves to them, like they owe them something. In actuality, they didn’t, they just found bad guys appealing for some reason. Then I thought, well, what if I am a “bad-boy” myself? Maybe this is the way to go? Turned out to be another dead-end for me as I became fake again, probably more than ever, since I never wanted to say bad stuff to people and make them feel miserable, especially girls. Truth is, I didn’t know how to be a “bad-boy” and I felt miserable again. So in my 5 years of game experience I found out a couple of things that helped me figure things out. Turned out that there is a double standard. There are two types of men. The provider and the cool guy. Girls usually go for the cool guy, because he is socially calibrated and funny, while the provider works all the time and because of that he can’t go out and often socialize. Girls go for the providers as well, but in the end of their prime, when they want to start families and find someone who can help them take care of the children. Sorry guys, but that’s the truth. Well, if there is a double standard, then I shouldn’t learn game right? I will end up with a girl eventually, won’t I? Well you can believe whatever you want, I have a different opinion.
You see, I believe that there is a sweet spot. You can be somewhere in the middle. You can be funny and socially calibrated and at the same time you can earn money and be financially independent. In reality both of those contradict themselves, because it seems hard to achieve, but in reality it’s not that hard. You just need patience, effort and balance. That doesn’t mean that in your free time, you should go out and spend all your money on drinks and bars, no, in fact just go out have fun on Fridays and Saturdays meet new people, practice what you’ve learned from game, enjoy life and work during the week. This is perfectly achievable. With patience, you learn how to interact with people in your free time, with effort you apply what you already know and get better at it and with balance, you find the sweet-spot between your work and going out to meet new people. You need the skillset to socialize with people, in order to be interested in them and to be interesting to them. I know that when you are trying to get to know someone is frustrating sometimes, because us guys, we simply don’t care, we just want to have sexual intercourse right? Yeah, most of us anyways. Learn how to interact with people. Adapt new values and replace your old ones. You can never be truly happy, but you can surprise yourself how close you can get.
And it’s not like when you ask a girl for an advice that she is actually lying to you. Thing is girls don’t know themselves. It seems like the logical thing to do – to be nice to someone and try to make them feel good doesn’t it? That’s why they are giving you those type of advices like – be yourself, be nice, buy her flowers and stuff. If you think about it, girls want a man who can lead them and make decisions for both of them. But in current times, no girl will ever admit that she wants to be dominated in all kinds of forms, especially not in front of her friends. That’s the confusing part. They are also part of the mainstream, as much as we guys are. If she admits that she wants to be dominated sexually for instance, as people are – they will judge and make her out to be a slut. That’s why – never ask girls for advice, simply be yourself, but this is really far more abstract than you think. You should always come from a strong frame, show more strengths than weaknesses. Uncovering your soul to a girl is a strong indicator that you like her, but don’t do it immediately when you meet her, be patient, go out a couple of times, show mainly your strengths and over time your weaknesses, she will find it appealing, because you aren’t afraid to show her how you feel. For instance if you tell her that you are afraid of heights, but you overcame your fear over the years in a manner of ways that made you stronger and gave you a different view on the world, or even if you haven’t gotten over your fear, but you are sharing that information with her, she will love you for it. We all share our strengths and weaknesses with the ones closest to us, and if you find the time and courage to share that info with her, this will be a strong indicator for her that you like her and are willing to share more, because let’s be honest, girls are insecure, believe me, they have a ton of insecurities, probably more than us, and if those fragile creatures are willing to share their weaknesses from time to time, what makes us different?Please log in to read the second part
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