This is really a hard topic for me to write about, as I am a man and it might seem to a lot of you that, I will be favoring the male gender above all. However this is my personal view and it is based on a research I’ve done over the years and most of the things I will write about, I’ve seen happen to both genders. Both men and women are to blame for the fact that it doesn’t work between them in the first place. It takes two to make a whole in this dualistic world, therefore the reason it doesn’t work between men and women in a lot of cases cannot be blamed on one gender alone. So basically in this topic I will be writing about the main mistakes men and women make regarding their partner. This topic will be long, because there are a lot of things to write about, so I will divide it into two parts for both men and women.
The not so thin line
Starting with the gentle sex here. I won’t be writing about the gender pay-gap and such, because in the developed world it’s purely a myth and no real economist with a degree in economy and a simple understanding of law and constitution can ever take this claim seriously. Therefore I will just mention it and move on, in order for you guys reading the topic, to not get confused. Despite the fact that we have equal political, economic and social rights, there are simply jobs that women can’t do. There are jobs that are hard and risky for us guys as well. Imagine going 2000 meters underground, digging for natural resources, shaking hands with the devil, fearing for your life at the slightest earthquake. Yes we allow women in the army nowadays, but the majority that are in the military are us guys. We tend to have some of the most despicable jobs in the world, like pulling rat-kings out of sewer pipes, which puts a lot of strain on men and no matter what the most hard-core feminist says on the matter, there are simply jobs that are better suited for men biologically, than they are for women.
Women on the other hand fair better than men academically on average. Women in the developed world are more likely to go to college, win more honors and have higher grades than guys.
Women simply make different choices than men, they want a balanced life. On one hand they fulfill their aspirations when they are young, because when they get older, most of them would want to start a family. This is the choice capitalism gives women, you can’t have both therefore a choice must be made. This is why since the beginning of time, men and women have helped each other and this is how we survived as species. Over time the roles have changed. Women have more rights now, but they have their fair share of problems too, like:
- Objectifying women
Most women have this problem with most guys, especially at bars when most of us are drunk and are making fools out of ourselves. As men are visual creatures we only need a second to determine if we rather want to talk to that person or not, because biologically we associate good looks with health and trust me, a lot of girls give it their all when it comes to style and how they look. And yes, some women objectify themselves. Putting tons of makeup, raising their bust up, being in shape all the time. This puts a lot of strain on a woman, she spends 2 to 5 hours in front of the mirror just to go to a bar with a couple of her friends and meet you guys. For us guys it’s not that hard. Of course I’ve talked about style and substance, but if you think about it, we don’t need a lot to appeal to people around us. All we need is to shave our necks, take a shower, have a manageable hair-style, clean our shoes, put a clean shirt on, some deodorant and we are good to go, while pretty girls put tons of effort in order to meet you. So men are visual creatures, which is completely natural for us to pick our partners based on how they look, but sometimes this can get out of hand. No girl will want to talk to a guy, who looks at her and doesn’t see the person and doesn’t try to at least get to know the girl. Tons of guys look at girls, not as people, but rather as objects. And yes, it is true that girls objectify themselves sometimes, but if you can look past that and treat people like people, you will get far with girls as this is one of the problems for them that takes one of the top spots. Don’t objectify girls, take a look at their character and try and understand them from emotional standpoint, as this will boost your success with women dramatically.
A lot of people in this world struggle with their weight and it can be really hard on women. And yes I am saying that as a man, who has been over 100 kilograms and know how hard it can be to move around and what effect this has on our confidence. Same goes for women, as we men can be pigs and still have a great relationship with most girls, because for them it’s not that much our looks to choose us as potential partners, rather our characters and how we present ourselves and how confident we are. Most obese girls are lonely and no one will ever take them seriously, because in a guy’s mind, a girl always has to take care of herself and if you think about it that goes for all of us. However in this particular case, girls have the short end of the stick.
- Getting old
Age is a crucial factor for a girl, as regarding social understanding on the matter, their value drops drastically every year they spend aging. I’ve seen a lot of people saying to girls over and over again that, they will eventually get old, therefore they must choose a partner soon before that happens. A lot of pressure has been applied to girls since young age and most of them are really afraid that they will get to the point, where a timer is put on their reproductive system and they will eventually have to choose between their career and starting a family. As for us guys, the older we get, we tend to look more attractive and mature, so girls tend to go for older guys, because we seem more experienced in life, but in the girl’s case, it can backfire.
- Financial status
Most guys tend to see successful girls, not as much as partners, but as rivals and someone who’s above them. Girls who tend to spend more time starting a business and developing their career frighten most of us, making us think that, just because she earns more than us we aren’t enough. If a man doesn’t feel enough for the girl, he will lose confidence and in a lot of cases, I’ve seen guys dumping girls over the fact that, she earns more than him. In the world we live in, the roles we embody and the power we possess in relationships can always shift between genders. What it comes down to in my belief, is that in the end if two people want to be together, nothing can stop them (and they need to know what they want from each other), even if the girl is the breadwinner, but I also believe that as a man, you must be stronger than the girl and take care of your family, because there will come a point, where she has to be taken care of, like when she gets pregnant and has to leave it all behind. In this case as a man, you have to take responsibility for your family.
- Social status
This doesn’t affect the girls as much as men, but it can backfire. If she is an influential figure and financially independent, it can take its toe on her as on the guy as well. If you look at celebrities, you will see how their status effects their life. Celebrities are believed to be there to set an example for the rest of us, and in most cases, you don’t see a celebrity dating an ordinary guy or a girl. It seems that it is socially unacceptable to be with someone who is under your status, which brings me to my current belief that, this doesn’t affect girls as much as both genders.
This is all I can say about girls. Don’t forget to read about the problems men are facing in part two – “Gender Inequality – Men”