We’ve all experienced anxiety and to be honest, if you’ve experienced it all your life when you were talking to girls, in most cases, there is no going around it. Back in the day I had a strong case of anxiety myself, and over the years I’ve tried different methods, but it still gets back to bite me on my hot playboy bum. Why does that happen? It happens because this is my base game. All men are not created equal, some of us grew up to be players, some of us simply didn’t. This is where I have to mention “Base game” and all of it’s potential disadvantages. Turn your attention to “Expectations” and you will get more info about “Base Game”, however it’s your basic form, the way you were wired into society, something you will never escape and will come back to bite you after a great deal of sleep (You can find the link at the end of the topic, under related topics). You turn into the same fucking bullshit you were before, with the exception of practice. Yes! When you practice your social skills, you can always go back on track and even get better with girls! The trick is to constantly apply what you’ve learned, come up with new stuff, never stagnate and always more forward.
In order to fight anxiety you must have affirmations about yourself and the world around you. There are two types of affirmations. The ones that you’ve affirmed back in the day, which are negative and have built your negative perspective for the world around you, as well as the ones that build you up and help you out on how to not give a fuck basically. You might be the best person in the world, but your affirmations could be negative. For instance one of your affirmations could be – “I don’t talk to girls, because they will reject me”, another might be – “I always make way for people when I walk on the street, because I feel they are far busier than me”, and if you have experienced anxiety before, you might actually be the embodiment of those two, I know I was. Always afraid of what people might think of me, or not to say something stupid and hurt people, always walking on eggshells around them, in order to protect my fragile ego, that I have built over the years, which is something that have protected me, but only to survive. I was constantly striving to appeal positively to guys and girls alike, so sure of myself, never even giving it the thought that I might be projecting more weaknesses than strengths. Then I started looking for answers, and I couldn’t find them in the form that I could understand, because people didn’t know themselves. Girls were telling me to be myself, but what did that mean? And even guys. They were far less calibrated than the girls, regarding feelings and stuff. At least the girls seemed honest enough, although I wasn’t personally getting it, while guys didn’t even want to talk about feelings, because it was weak and pathetic to feel and cry. Most of my male friends told me that I have to be strong and not give a fuck, but how can I not give a fuck, when I didn’t want to be that guy.
How could I be myself and not give a fuck at the same time? For me back then it was like trying to look left and right at the same time. And I never thought that there could actually be balance, because people seemed like they have had the answers, but it was like no one was honest with me about it. Turned out I was not the only one. That’s my story on the subject of anxiety and just for you guys, I will tell you how to beat it. You will never root it out completely, but you will be able to overcome it to a great extend for the upcoming years.
The way to beat anxiety is simple – I don’t call it positive or negative affirmations, just “Realistic Affirmations”. What is a realistic affirmation? Well one I embody is as it goes “I am a normal guy, I am far more attractive than the day before therefore, if I get rejected by people now, in time, as I am getting better, I won’t be anymore.” This was my first affirmation back in the day, the one I don’t affirm anymore, but deeply believe to be true even today. And I believe it is quite realistic. I embodied It back in the day, and as days were passing by I started changing my style and adapting new skills and even new affirmations. For instance I had one which was as follows – “Not all girls will reject me, some of them simply had a bad day, others simply don’t like me, but it’s all numbers game, I will find the right one for me eventually.” I had others like “I am awesome and I’m only getting better”, “I am an alpha-male and I am constantly improving to become the best version of myself”. When I was challenging myself to talk to girls I had a really funny one – “Talk to her, it’s not like she is going bite you” and so I did. This is the way to beat anxiety, not with positive or negative, but realistic affirmations. Trust me, when you get close to the best possible version of yourself, you won’t need them anymore they will have simply already became part of your being. You will be embodying them without even realizing it. If you think about it, those are actually simple truths. No one is really going to bite you and yes, people are sometimes aggressive and strange and I’ve done some stupid shit and the risk of being hit in the face was high, but even if you are anxious, nothing will prevent it from happening. Therefore you must trust yourself the most, and believe in what you are doing, otherwise no one will trust and believe you. Well that covers anxiety, now let’s get back on the topic at hand.
- Talking to girls with pickup phrases
Pick up phrases are great aren’t they? You get to say something slicky and unpredictable and get the girl rye? Well I will give you both the positive effects and the negative effects of pick-up phrases What if I tell you that when you talk with someone you can eventually get bored and will not want to talk to them anymore. This is the result of boredom. Well it’s a fact. Sometimes you just get bored and don’t want to talk to people, and other times you are simply unprepared for talking. Are pick-up phrases great for the occasion? Well, yes and no. Because you can only have so much of them, before they run out and at the same time they will only get you half way. Yes they are necessary sometimes, but you don’t need them all the time (you can have a couple you occasionally use and start conversations with, but you shouldn’t rely on them all the time). You can impress a person with something unique, and there are people who have pick-up phrases for every suitable situation that will lead them straight to the girl’s bed eventually and they work too. But is that all? What are your priorities in life regarding girls? Is it to simply get in bed with them, wipe your dick on the blanket and get the hell out of there, or you want something more out of the situation? Something, like … Going all serious, living together for a couple of years, starting a family, getting to know that person more and more, being surprised everyday by them, as they are by you? Well you have to figure out your priorities before you start using pick-up phrases. They work initially don’t get me wrong, but they won’t get you further than the bed. let us go back on track. You can use all kinds of slicky pick-up phrases and get the girl, and to be honest, I’d personally prefer if you did. This will help you in two possible ways:
The first one being – you will be far more calibrated than the other guys, and second – it might help you to get rid of your anxiety. How does that work? Well for starters, you will always be prepared with something to say without overthinking in the particular situation. It will seem to the girl, that you’ve came up with it on the spot and that you are smart. Well you might already be smart, with the exception that no one actually cares about it initially. But sometimes in order for our brains not to fry on the spot when we see a hot girl, we might need something to use like a slicky pick-up line and it can be a life saver. So basically you will always be prepared initially, but this only helps to the initial extent. Take her on a date, you will have a few more left, on the third date you will be all dust and no broom. This is the part where I take you to the initials for – talking to girls with nothing to say.
- Talking to girls with nothing to say
It’s not that hard to not think right? Staring at a wall, lowering the physical and mental processes that are happening in that moment to almost zero and just make your mind go blank. Well that is actually impossible. You will always be thinking about stuff, even subconsciously. There is a theory in pick-up, at least it was for me, but I’ve applied it and it works. The theory is that when you see a hot girl, even if she is the hottest girl in the world in your eyes and you have nothing to say, just go there as you are and do it! Now this will work because, you have already tried it a dozen times, you are used to rejection to the point where you don’t have any expectations and you don’t care anymore. And yeah, you can have a couple of pick-up phrases that work for you in the short run and apply them, but what happens after twenty seconds of conversation? You will run out, therefore I suggest that you be honest to the girl, coming from a frame of strength, don’t overdo it or overreact, because she will smoke you out. Ask questions, be interested in what she has to say, and genuinely listen and give her your honest opinion if you like something or you don’t. That’s what it means to be yourself. Now go and apply it!