There are two types of tests women will give their male partners over the course of the interaction. Those are the so called shit-tests. Women do this all the time to test their future partners and trust me, it can be really disheartening if you don’t know how to overcome those tests. They come in two forms.
Why do women give men those tests in order to constantly test their resolve and realistically put them through hell? Well basically – they have to. Women divide the week from the strong. Call it their numbers game, a filtering mechanism, overreaction, but whatever you might think about women and how sadistic and relentless this particular way of thinking from their side can be, they really and absolutely have to do it in order to filter the strong from the weak and end up with the best possible version of a partner they can end up with. I know what you are all probably thinking – “Well I am a man and I don’t need a lot to judge a woman. All I need as a man is for her to look nice and have some form of personality and that is basically what I need. What is wrong with that?” Well the answer to that question comes in two forms:
- Men are visual creatures and we don’t need a lot to determine if a girl is good for us or not. If she is good looking and takes care of herself, we associate this with health, therefore we immediately want to make something out with this girl. At least most of us think that way, but only some of us have standards regarding women and it’s those of us with choice in the matter
- Women on the other hand are out there to survive, and despite our culture changing and having equal rights over the years, both genders have become miserable, feeling entitled, and always expecting more out of our partners, even women, but this is not something to feel bad for, in fact women are far more judgmental than before. That makes us guys strive for constant improvement, which is something she needs for her balanced way of life, and that is – work and family, while us men are more goal oriented and tend to lend the small things slide sometimes.
This biological mechanism girls have to filter the strong from the weak basically exists to allow the confident men to come into their lives and the weak to simply go away and grow a pair. This allows women to determine, who’s more confident than who in order to end up with the best possible real choice. And trust me, women have so much choice these days, it is maddening. You have probably seen the endless waves of guys trying to get with girls in clubs and how most of them get rejected, not because they are not enough, but they can’t get a good first expression across. In order to get a better perspective about having an edge and presenting yourself in a better way – I talk about it in the “Style and substance” topic.
Both men and women want the same thing initially.
But let us get a little bit into the problems of both sexes first. What are the determining factors for guys and girls to choose their partners? It is easier for us guys like I mentioned, to determine if a girl is good enough or not. Initially we stumble upon their looks and we become captivated by them. That’s why girls objectify themselves (sometimes too much), which is a form of a physical manipulation that alters their looks in a way to be more appealing for us guys, but not for all of us, rather the small percent that tends to be above the rest. There are a couple of problems girls with bad filtering mechanisms have that are actually affecting the majority of guys, including the best of us, that tend to constantly improve and it really makes it harder for us in the short run. One of the problems is that, because of the endless waves of horny dudes constantly approaching them, even though she initially went out to meet someone and have some fun getting to know them, becoming a part of their world, is denied to them, because they are being constantly approached. In most cases this is denied to them, because the bar is full and overrun with guys and that automatically drops our value as well. This is also the time where their “filtering mechanism” stops working properly and they will most likely reject you as well (even if your game is top gear). There are however two possible outcomes:
- The girls change the venue, because they are overwhelmed by the majority of guys trying to get with them.
- Or they stay at the bar till the end of the night, where the majority of guys simply leave the venue, where only the most drunk or most calibrated are left, and they have to choose from them
Another problem is the fact that girls go for the so called “Bad-boys” and have a tendency of lowering their value to the point that they are completely dependent on the guy and it’s not like he is a bad person, he is just being himself. Most girls love and hate those types of guys at the same time. They hate them, because they are brutal and selfish creatures, but love them at the same time, because at least those guys are being themselves. Another problem we are facing is that, because like I mentioned above, girls are overwhelmed by constant approaches and they compare even the best of us to the majority of guys. But then how does she figure out who is the best choice for her? It comes down in the form of two types of tests girls put guys through and depending on the guy’s reaction, they choose to spend time with him, getting to know him, or not. Like I mentioned, those tests come in two forms – Congruence and compliance tests. Check out – “Gender Roles” to get a better understanding of congruence.
In the case of congruence tests (congruence is the alignment between emotional state, verbal communication and body language), she is basically testing your confidence. If you are confident enough in your skin, you will not take the bullshit she puts you through seriously. The test comes in the form of – for instance – her making a negative comment regarding what you are wearing. A good example is – “I don’t like your style, those shoes don’t suit you at all”, or – “This t-shirt is quite old, you should change it with something new and fresh” – well you might love your shirt and don’t want to do that, or there might be nothing wrong with it, but girls tend to say those things to see your reactions. You can react in two ways. A common way to react is to take her seriously, because you like her and her comment might shock you. You might flip out and ask her why she thinks your style doesn’t suit you. You might start making excuses about it and this can ruin your day or night so to speak and trust me, she expects that from most guys, to react in this particular manner. To be her “best possible real choice”, you need to be rather unreactive and just continue the conversation like she said absolutely nothing (because in the case of congruence tests, normal girls just throw a couple of them from time to time to see how you will react), or be responsive in a very short way. A great example for the particular case is as follows – “Nah my style is today’s standard” or “I think my T-shirt is awesome” and just continue talking like nothing happened. And honestly, if you are the shit and you have all those girls, lining up to date you, your natural reaction should be not to give a fuck and simply don’t care about what she thinks of how you are dressed and such. React slightly or don’t react at all, don’t even make facial expressions, because even if you seem unaffected, she can always tell if you put up a quick frown. Women will be looking for these signs, so be careful when expressing yourself non-verbally. Lead the conversation by your own terms!
In the case of compliance tests – The roles get reversed in some of the cases and she makes you do things for her you actually don’t want to do. She will try and lead you. For instance you might be at a club, and she might tell you to go and carry her purse and wait for her in front of the bathroom until she is finished powdering her nose. If you comply and do it, she will basically make you do all those little things for her, she can actually do for herself without a problem. Girls don’t do this on purpose, she is simply testing you to see if you would rather be a wuss and follow her around, or rather be a man and do what you want to do. For instance you can tell her to go powder her nose and that, you will wait for her carrying her purse at the bar – ordering something to drink while she is working on herself. She might tell you to go and buy her a drink. You can do that if she honestly forgot her money or is simply out of a job, but if she can afford it, don’t buy her drinks, because this is most likely a test from her side, to see if you will comply. Girls do compliance tests to see if you are willing to do everything to get with her. Those types of tests are necessary for her to challenge you, in order for you to challenge her back and excite her.
In the end it doesn’t matter. You can buy her a drink, but she has to do something for you first. Tell her to do a little dance for you, give you a passionate kiss or simply don’t comply at all.