Throughout the years, I’ve been doing a lot of game. It’s been like 5 years. A lot of you will probably believe that I am pretty good and don’t need to improve in that regard anymore, but you will be so far from the truth. In reality I am doing pretty well, I know all the fundamentals, like proper body-language, how to provoke a reaction in a woman, how to make her invest more and take her straight to the bedroom. Well to be honest, I am still experiencing some difficulties, like most of you will, because there is something I’d like to call Base game. Ever had a situation, where you are doing so well, and once you go to bed and wake up in the morning you feel different? For instance, imagine you were arguing with a friend to the point that he/she got mad at you and you thought to not be friends with them anymore. But as time passes by, or once you go to bed and wake up in the morning, it’s like it didn’t happen, and you are not mad at them anymore. Well no matter how good you get with women, this will always be the case. It comes down to repetition. If you are at it a whole week and the week after, and you repeat what you know about women and how to appeal to them, all that goes to waste once you stop practicing and turn your attention to work and other stuff that will basically take you away from your favorite hobby.
That’s why you can say that “Pick-up” is like a game. Essentially you have a base form, and as time goes by and you practice, you level up and become better, but once you lose practice, your level drops. This does not occur only with “pick-up” however. Imagine you are used to working, but you go on a well-deserved vacation, and after that you go back to work, but you don’t like it and it’s like, you have to learn the “Know how” all over again. Well this is a natural human reaction. Our brains prioritize the tasks that are right in front of us, and once you get used to something, sometimes you can do it without putting much thought to the process. It’s like brushing your teeth every morning.
What about meeting women? What does this all have to do with seducing beautiful girls and having a blast? Well the answer might surprise you. I mentioned “Base game” and what it actually means, is that if you are basically average with girls, you will always be average. What the hell?! If I am average now, what is the point of me improving myself?! Thing is, your basic self will almost never change no matter what you do. Truth on the other hand is that you can always change for the moment, and if you are consistent enough, you can transform to a degree, but your essence will always be the same.
A quick personal story
I can give you an example with myself. It was mind bugling and frustrating for me. I was going out 24/7 my first year of game, and the second year I was like “Yeah! I’m killing it!” But as time passed and I found a job, and most of my time during the week went to work and sleeping, except on Fridays and Saturdays I found out something really strange. I was working in an office as an accountant, and most of the time I was concentrated on doing my job, I wasn’t even thinking about game, because I really didn’t have the time to deal with my hobbies when I was at work. As it turned out, every time I went out to talk to girls, for the first few interactions I felt the same form of anxiety as I did before and most of those interactions went to waste. I felt like I turned to the same fucking bullshit I was before. What?! It takes like one week for me to degrade back to my usual nerdy self? It is a bit more complicated than that actually and there is a solution to the problem.
To be honest, a lot of my friends who were going out with me, who were working during the week were experiencing the same thing I did. It’s like, you invest in time and money to learn absolutely everything about women, how they think, body-language and attraction processes in order to get better and in the end it seems that it is all for nothing. Well not exactly.
Like I mentioned above – there is a solution to the problem. Repetition is the mother of skill. If you repeat what you know, even if you haven’t practiced in a long time, you eventually get better and almost perfect at it again. For instance, when I go out after work on Friday, my first interactions always go to waste, but as time passes and I start talking to more and more people, my next few interactions become better and at the end of the night, as I stop caring about how girls respond to me, or rather that I’d get rejected, I end up pulling one nighters from time to time. I believe that it is self-evident. If you know all the fundamentals and have developed a system, you will always go back on track and just for the occasion, I’ve assembled a little trick for you in a few simple steps:
- Don’t quit after a rejection. Yes you will fail, but all of us fail from time to time and we must learn from our mistakes and get the reference.
- Remember what you know and try a different approach.
- Always adapt, never stagnate.
- Lower your expectations.
Self-amusement > Expectations
You should always strive for something better. A lot of guys I know, who are aware of game and the principles behind it, go out to seduce women, rather than have fun. Thing is that you must amuse yourself and always have fun if you want people around you to have fun with you. Self-amusement is the key to have a great night, well – one of the keys actually. Don’t expect anything from the girl. If you don’t expect anything from her, but at the same time you show her that you like her, she will respond positively. I know how hard it is in cases when you had a great night on Friday and are expecting the same to happen on Saturday too. Each venue is a different environment. And what do we know about environments? They change. That’s why you must amuse yourself, and at the same time you should lower your expectations as much as possible.
Don’t even think about sex as you are talking to the girl. You are getting to know her first and she feels the same way initially, therefore that should be on your mind first. It is easy to forget like I mentioned. Sometimes we just want to have a blast and we will do everything for that, no matter what. I am always good at game, because when I go out, I never expect anything from the night or the people around me. Sometimes when I catch myself having expectations, I just say to myself – “The night is going to be a piece of crap” – and I say that to myself just to get reminded that if I am expecting anything from the night and the people around me as I’m going out, I’ll fuck things up.
We all have different scenarios in our heads. They are usually a step by step process of how we want things to be, and we always get disappointed when the script gets flipped and nothing happens the way we envisioned it. Things are as they are, we can’t blame the night for what it is. It might be raining and you can get all wet and stuff, but is it the evening’s fault or the weather’s fault that you feel miserable? Of course not! Things are just as they are sometimes, and the truth is, we must accept what we can’t change and move on, otherwise we will always be miserable and blame other people or situations for our problems.
Happiness for us guys comes from within. It is the byproduct of our overall success in life. If we depend on the external for our happiness, that means we have expectations and sometimes we will be happy, because of the external, but those cases are rare, that’s why your expectations should be lowered as much as possible. Learn to be self-amused, joke around with people and have great evenings. If there is a formula, I believe this is as close to that formula as you can get!
Don’t expect things to happen.
It’s better to feel surprised than be disappointed.