Prove your humanity

There is no better way to open up the “Lay Report” category than with a massive, gigantic…fail 🙂 I’ve been looking at this story I wrote more than 4 years ago and realized how much my life and way of thinking has evolved since then, as well as the pace at which I’ve been learning valuable lessons in the beginning of my journey to become more successful with women. This was one of the very early days I was trying to adopt Game concepts and mindsets and every single action felt supremely unnatural, uncomfortable and overall – just dead wrong or out of place. I did all of them nevertheless and not only did I not die (which certainly seemed like a possibility at the time – that the Earth would open up and I’ll have to shamefully go visit Hades), but I also started getting better and better results shortly after this colossal fail. As a matter of fact, I had a one night stand with a girl just the day after my pseudo-date with Mariana, described below, which is another extreme example that it’s always darkest before dawn and that if things don’t work out for you with one chick, you always have a fresh chance with the next one. Anyway…

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I knew that eventually at some point, I’ll have to find out where I’m standing with my work colleague Mariana. She wasn’t really my type of girl, but the combination of charisma and looks + the fact that I already knew she is emotionally available (albeit being married for 7 years) meant I have to act swift, as there was no shortage of people in the company willing to penetrate that tight ass of hers. Probably I could have a bit better chances if I did this 2-3 months ago, soon after she first came into the business, but back then I was either still with my ex, or fighting the demons of the post-being cheated on break-up. When I got back in physical and mental shape, I had already released too many signs of being “friendly”, compared to being “manly”. I even vaguely remember texting her in Facebook, saying that if she needs someone to talk to about things, she can count on me etc. which was also a quite stupid beta-move and as expected, it did not buy me a one way ticket to her wet panties, but sent me to the Friendzone waterslide instead. We became closer as people, but that of course just meant that she can get attention and validation on my account, without actually having to give anything of substance (booty) back to yours truly.  Since I had enough close people and not enough booty options back then, I had to either change my fortunes with her or just drop it altogether. No date on a Friday night made this seem as a suitable night to check which way we are leaning towards.

Anyway, after me and her got drunk-chatty on the Christmas party and I told her I think she’s beautiful etc (another rookie mistake, but my game was still very novice, I was on a dry spell since my break-up, so the combination of these factors easily made me forget not to put the pussy on pedestal), she was still sending some mixed signals, a technique that I noticed presumably “taken” girls like to practice a lot – she was surely enjoying the attention and flirting, but started to become very vague when it came down to anything more than that.

We had been quieter than the usual in the office for the whole week and eventually on Friday, I just dropped by and offered her to get a drink, with some other people. She insta-agreed, which was a good sign, we went for dinner at Vapiano just the two of us (cool venue points), shared a pizza and had a nice chat, then went to a wine bar in Soho with her and our introvert colleague-friend, where we continued lubricating with alcohol. She was still in the vibe of the safe place, where we are all just fellow Bulgarian colleagues, who just enjoy hanging out etc, so I knew if I want to do anything that night, we had to venue-switch to a high energy place(Gem Bar ftw!), I had to start touching her more, isolate and then go for escalation. Good thing the other dude got my subtle message and decided to f*ck off about half an hour after going to Gem, so it was just left to me and Mariana to do jaeger-bombs and whiskey and rub in each other. Despite my relatively tight frame (for an absolute beginner), half of the time she was sitting and even though I was extra-aggressive, it was clear that she isn’t really having a great night out and something is bothering her. The fact that I had to hush away other guys, who came to talk to her every now and then meant that I had to stick around most of the time. Now, looking at the perspective of years later, I already know the right (and more fun) thing to do would have been to just hit on other girls in the same bar, but back then this did not seem an option. I decided I’m still going to eye-fuck, touch, grind etc the hell out of her and that I’d go for a kiss in the first possible moment, even though I could sense things are not going my way. I did it at least 10 times and got at least 10 head-turns, which means that:

  • I hadn’t reached the required intimacy level with her (and may very well never reach it);
  • I wasn’t going to get a bang from her now or anywhere in the near future;
  • I can give myself bonus points for persistence and balls to try and escalate, even though I knew chances are slim to none. Always go for the kiss, even when you know there is a higher chance of winning the Euromillions after submitting a lucky-dip ticket you bought online.

Even though she head-turned 10 times, she stayed with me and continued drinking till the place closed. You can imagine I was not in the best mood, but at that point I felt super light. I had gone far beyond anything I’d consider “normal” to get the girl, it hadn’t worked out, but I survived it. Though it sucked that she wanted none of me, I felt invincible at that time – chatting with random people, giving high fives, definitely riding a dopamine rollercoaster.

Later that night, when we went for breakfast she told me she is into my work-colleague Tom (which to be fair I had kinda noticed already, but just chose to ignore) and that’s why she is not putting up with me, which is also fair enough. It was funny that she didn’t mention her husband as the reason, but I think we both kinda shared an understanding that this wasn’t really stopping her.  At least now she knew what I’m after, although for me it meant I have no stake/effort to make there anymore. One would think that this would have made some awkward office looks the week after, but it was quite the opposite – I had just stopped giving a flying f*ck about her, after exhausting all possible opportunities to get into her pants, so now I didn’t have to bother with her and could just move on to other girls.

Bonus – I used to do a report like this after every night out, so I keep track of what I do right and wrong. Though I stopped doing it after I started getting more action, I’d strongly recommend everyone that is just starting in the Game to find a system that works for them, in order to make sure they are learning from both the good and the bad.

Drink count – too many. 1x Aperol, 4x Maker’s Mark in the Wine-bar + 3-4 Whiskey/coke and at least 3 jaeger-bombs in Gem Bar; This used to be an average night in Bulgaria and there was a time that this amount of alcohol didn’t even get me drunk, but age, amortization and insomnia have had their say here.

Type Game – know-it-all, having the right point about everything in life, speaking from experience accumulated around the world, in order to build attraction as a high-value individual, followed by high-energy and aggressive dancing, so it’s evident that I’m all out for action;

Motivation  – it was 6 days of sexual abstinence and 4 days of consecutive working out

Total Bill – at least 140 quid (dinner, drinks, cover charge, riksha, breakfast, 17quid for Davidoff ciggies). Absolute overkill of money over value. Another important reason why keeping track of all items is important – next time you’d consider twice whether it’s worth investing that kind of money into chasing up a very uncertain prospect;

Night out Rating 6/10 – I didn’t pull, but I executed everything the way I wanted it + didn’t chicken out on escalation attempts for a very first time since forever. Remained strong and showed character and persistence.

Learning outcomes: 

  • Always go for the kiss, after escalating intimacy, no matter what;
  • Use your money more wisely – don’t be afraid to walk away from unfavorable situation, after you are 100% sure that you are not getting your dick wet.
  • Don’t focus solely on one girl – connected to the above, unless you know you are pulling, you need to execute jerk moves and grind on a few other chicks every once in a while. First – you could end up hooking up with one of them instead. Second – it lowers the value of the main chick, by showing her you can get other pussy when you want. My main problem with this is anxiety that somebody else, another more experienced player, will eventually end up banging the chick I brought there, if I leave her for alone for too long. While in London this was a legitimate concern  back in the time, in Bulgaria it’s very rare that somebody would go after your chick while you are out on a date with her. In addition, the more Game confidence and experience you get, the less you’ll care. If the woman likes you, she will stick with you no matter what. If she can easily get hooked by another guy while you are there, it’s best to ditch her early on in your interaction anyway:)

(No)Lay Report I: The Beginning Is Always Rough
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