8   +   3   =  

As a man, as you probably grew up you bought the superficiality of society, how we all need to aspire to certain looks, body-types and such in order to be good with women. Well this topic is all about deviating you from this notion, in order for you as a man to understand, that there is far more there is to human beings that will take them further, than just their looks and money.

Introduction

You should realize that men are not created equal. Not only we have different phenotypes, rather our whole structures are different. How come you might ask? How come we are so different and practically the same as species. Well evolution has made us that way. In order to be stability, there must be variety in genetics and behaviors. The world was not created with the comfort of human beings in mind. In order to survive as species, we adapted to different environments in the course of millions of years. And that actually made us phenotypically diverse, but our overall biological systems have remained the same. Our outside features might be different, which are a reflection of our adaptability, but inside we remain the same and we are pretty compatible too. So what sets us so much apart from one another? Is it actually the way we look? Well the answer to both of those questions will be given in the course of part one and two of this short topic.

Sameness & Difference

For the first question I must say that we are the same and different at the same time, which is contradicting, but as I described above, you probably get the gist by now, that we all share a common ancestor, and our differences are mainly on the outside, but inside, our systems have basically remained the same. What sets us apart is not the way we look, rather our behaviors nowadays. Yes we have a biological imperative, not to trust people who look different than us, regarding skin color and such, but that is biological. You can’t even trust people of your own color, because in general, everyone is out for themselves.

Difference in skin color only furthers segregation and discrimination, but we must get over that as species, and as we evolved to this point in our evolution, as you might’ve guessed, it took us a lot of time, so it will take us sometime, before we start looking pass the way people look. But let’s talk about substance for a moment. We live in dynamic times. I believe you have more chances of survival and realizations in this age than any other.

You can always upgrade your substance with new knowledge, and progress in ways that weren’t possible back in the day. Even self-development and mentoring have improved this process over the years for individuals like us, who strive for constant improvement. Substance is important, but it is really complimented by your style. Why is style necessary? Does it really matter how I look and dress like, when in actuality people are all the same on the inside, and different in phenotypical appearance? Well the answer to that question comes in two forms. You can’t expect people to judge you only by your values alone, because values must be projected through your style. Initially style is more important than substance. You might have the greatest of values in the world, according to some, but if your style isn’t complimenting them, you won’t get far – INITIALLY.

Duality

The fact of the matter is you must have both, because the book is judged by the cover, and it is pretty self-explanatory why that is. For instance, you might be the smartest person in the world, but if you haven’t showered in a few days and you haven’t shaved for instance, people will assume that your value is lower, only by “Your cover”(especially if they don’t know you personally). If you have substance, you must present it in a proper way, with a style, that suits you and people find appealing. Some people take this to the extremes – buying the most expensive watch, car, shoes, pants and so on. No… You don’t actually need that. Thing is that you don’t need spending a ton of money for your everyday wear. In order to look good you must at least have good personal hygiene, if you have good beard, always shave your neck, find an appropriate hair-style that is easy to support in your everyday life. Make sure you bathe two times a day, cut off your nails and if you want you can go to the gym for your overall health. I am not talking about extremes here. Don’t become overly buffed like a bodybuilder, because that is basically unsustainable, unless you are taking steroids.

The Internal

Your happiness shouldn’t be coming from external factors. It is the product of your overall success in life, regarding business, hobbies, social-circles and so on. You must realize, that your style must reflect your substance and compliment it on different levels. I am not saying that if you are pretty educated, you must have a blouse with a brain on it or something, no, simply improve your style every month, buying new clothes will show people around you that you care about yourself enough in order to make that step, exercising and having something to show for it will also have a better effect. I am talking about the small things here, that actually don’t require a lot of energy to achieve, but you must engrave it into your everyday life. You can’t expect people to accept you for having only style, and at the same time, you can’t expect them to accept you for having only substance. The world we live in is dualistic. You can’t expect one thing to work without the other. For example, the car simply doesn’t work without the engine. You can push it around, but it is not the same as it having an engine. I know my examples are pretty dumb, but I make them in order for you to understand the gist of having both. Style is what helps you initially, substance is more difficult to achieve, but it helps you in the long run.

–          So, if body-language and the way a guy presents himself matters more than the way he looks, then why are we going through all of this? I thought I don’t need a cool watch or think about my style that much. Get to the point! What is it actually for?

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